i know love. ive seen him- we are friends. i believe in him and even though we fight sometimes, in the end he always pulls through for me when i need him and for that, im grateful.
right now, we are not on the best of terms. i feel like i have a bone to pick with love. i am watching one of the most difficult things i have ever had to watch. i am watching the person who taught me about love, the person who introduced us, im watching him fall apart.
it sucks. because, having finally learned to believe in something, i have to watch it be tested in this way, and i dont know whats going to happen, or how, or why its happening. why would love, our sweet, gentle, loyal friend, desert one of his own? how could he? how could he stand by and let this happen to someone with so much faith in him?
it is unfair. it tears me up and it makes me wonder. have we all misplaced our trust, our hope, faith and belief? it makes me wonder why we're all out to befriend such a fickle, fickle asswhole. if he could just chose to take a rain-check on us like this, when times get hard.
i think, we can be very hard on love. we expect so much. we want to salvage our relationship so badly, that we refuse to let love off the hook even when its not entirely its fault. we look at love, and ask it why.
we need to not blame ourselves, we need to not point fingers. we need to understand the nature of love, we need to understand how it works and why. because otherwise, we are bound to be let down. we need to understand that it is around simply, to entertain us. to make its presence felt. perhaps comfort us, and reassure us. in the end, we wallow in the belief that it will not, cannot, hold you together when you need it most. that is because we are blind.
we are a dependent society and i find it sad. i love love. i love my family, and i love my friends. hell, i love my tinkerbell build-a-bear.. i love love. but i have a healthy fear, an acknowledgment to the fact that it is liable to drop out from beneath my feet at any moment. the future is not promised.
we need to stop running, blindfolded by love. we need to accept that things change, and accept love from wherever we can get it, even if its not where you want it to come from. we need to let our friends love us. let our parents, pets, and hobbies, love us, because when you lose one source of love, you're going to wish you had another.
love, where are you when we need you? the truth is, its right there. we are just to absorbed to see it, because it takes a form that we may not necessarily be in the mood for. but love is there. it is always there. and it may not love you, but you need to love it.
no matter what, you need to love it.
