and i tell myself, you know that you are supposed to be open to love, but what you dont understand is how youre so closed. you want to truly fall in love, its the only thing in the world you can think of that you want more than anything. you try to not make the same mistakes as before, and yet you end up in the same place again. so you try and get by with what you can. sustaining myself on living through other love stories, and imagining magical moments like in a disney fairytale, but before long you find yourself in a vicious circle of perhaps, too much expectations and then disappointment.
i try to be open to love, but i still feel like a fraud when i dont feel the way im supposed to. so i keep a distance and dont give the wrong idea about how i feel, so i dont end up in a sour place.
but what if im wrong about the way i feel.
and thats why its hard sometimes to talk to people you know. and why its hard sometimes because youre surrounded by some many people, yet you feel alone.
