is there a girl whos known you who has not fallen for you? you are the epitome of the word "heartbreaker." i wanted to be the one who was different. although i have conquered so much with you, for some strange reason i still feel like i am faced with a battle each day. a battle for your heart. i know you tell me i have won. "you got it, its yours." is what you have preached to me, but truthfully, i beg to differ. i dont know why i always feel so apprehensive, maybe im a pessimist. or maybe the butterflies you give me have finally used their bombing fluid to eat me alive. needless to say, i am in love with you and that is why i wont give up. i know in a substantial relationship, the requirements are more than love, but this is a start. i havent gave up on you, because your so "difficult" like everyone else says. your difficultness is one of the things i like best about you because it actually reminds me of myself. im the only person who thinks its hilarious how rude you are, because i know you dont mean it. well, sometimes. im the only person who never, ever gets sick of you. what people dont realize is its not that i am willing to be a doormat and put up with your shit. its that i love all of you, even the parts everyone else hated, and i see through them to what you really are. sometimes you become so abtruse, and i dont know why. its like if im standing here with open arms and nothing to hold. i wish you could show me more than words. yes i know it "takes time", thats all i tell myself. im sorry if i dont have the magical combination of qualities it takes to make a girl worth it to you. but i try, oh man i try. sometimes we're both so damn stubborn we become blinded by each others negative energy. and i dont want us to become a raw ending. youre the one person i believe in, but in my head everything is so screwed up i dont know what is right or wrong. and at night i cry and blame myself for all of this chaos, because maybe im the one whos assertive and maybe im the one whos crazy for not believing you only want me. but can you blame me? honestly?.. im tired of the long periods of silence. im tired of the non communication. i just want us to be perfect because i am so built upon it that i need it to be. i just wish you can understand. and hope one day you'll realize im not trying to "change you" but just help you become better. for us. for you. for love.
